Work, Life, Play. Finding your “Play Mojo”

In their new bestselling book, “Womenomics,” authors Claire Shipman (ABC News Correspondent) and Katty Kay (BBC World News American Newswoman) write about how highly credentialed and educated women have increased their value in the workplace. Based on a study conducted by Pepperdine University over a period of 19-years, Shipman and Kay note that companies with more women in top positions post higher profits that exceed their industry median.

What does this mean? It translates to greater leverage for women in the workplace. It means that if employers want to maintain their position, they will need to retain these highly skilled and experienced women workers. And Shipman and Kay contend, they’ll “adapt to our lifestyle demands.” Ultimately this translates to more opportunities for women to negotiate flexible work schedules that to create balance between the demands of career and the needs of their families.

Balancing work and the demands of home life have always been challenging for women, much more so than for men. According to my friend and colleague, Terrill Welch, a women’s leadership coach, “Women still usually have primary responsibility for home management, child-care and elder care.” Terrill emphatically suggests that companies establish a workplace culture that supports work/life balance for everyone in the office. “The encroachment of work into personal and family time is an issue for both women and men,” Welch says.

So that’s good news for women, right? Yes, but maybe no.

The good news is that women are in a better position than ever to negotiate “family friendly” work schedules. But, if all you are doing is substituting one form of work (your career) for another form of work (demands of home and family life), is that really contributing to your overall well-being?

Most of our adult daily life falls under one of two categories: work and play. And for adults the majority of time is usually spent on work with far too little time allowed for play. As adults, we tend to spend leisure time on escape activities, distractions from the responsibilities of work. And for working women, spending time with the family often means taking on the role of caregiver, taking the children to soccer practice, to the swim meet, planning activities and events for them.

Where is the playtime for you?

It’s not an easy question to answer, for we are all brought up in society where we put our needs secondary to those of our children. It’s natural. Every parent wants a better life for her child, and that is only right.

But maybe there is another way. What I suggest is that we look for ways to engage in joyful, creative and spontaneous play that is vital to your well-being. It doesn’t mean that you are going to shirk your responsibilities as caregiver, as chauffeur. Rather, I suggest that you look for ways to engage with your children in simple play.

The fondest memories of my childhood are the simplest memories – playing “catch” in the backyard with my father. Flying a kite with my mom and dad on a Saturday picnic. Helping my mom prepare a picnic lunch that we all enjoyed together as a family (ok, I admit there is some “work” in that!).

I turn to Vared DeLeeuw, who writes MomGrind and who is rapidly becoming one of my favorite writers on the Internet. She just published a great article titled 40+ Activities for Kids, and she lists some fabulous ideas and ways to re-introduce yourself to the idea of spontaneous play with your children.

Among my favorites:

Practicing hoola hoop! I actually remember doing this with my mom during the first hula hoop craze in the late 1950’s. It was a joyful moment, and is a lovely memory for me to this day!

Play hide and seek. I did that with my parents too! What fun!

Go exploring in the backyard. I remember “camping out” in our backyard with my dad and brother. What an adventure!

These are just a few examples, but I hope you can see how “playing” with your children can help rekindle the inner child in you. And what better example to set for your children than showing them that even as an adult, it is “ok” to play, to be spontaneous, to laugh and squeal with joy! Rather than teaching them how to live, you are living life and showing them how to live.

What a wonderful lesson that would be.

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